


The Stranger

by between_mondays



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Comfort/Angst, Developing Relationship, F/M, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, POV Outsider, POV Second Person, Pre-Slash, Relationship Advice, Relationship Problems, Secrets, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-16
Updated: 2013-08-07
Packaged: 2017-12-15 04:12:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 21,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/845172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/between_mondays/pseuds/between_mondays
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A passerby witnesses a huge fight between Arthur and Merlin, and after Merlin leaves they take pity on Arthur and attempt to counsel him and help him heal his relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic that I have been uploading to Fanfiction.net - but I wanted to put it on here too. Please comment if you like it!

You first saw them up ahead of you on the street corner.

Not really paying attention at first, you continue walking; your eyes drifting over the bright shop windows, your fingers protesting under the strain of your heavy shopping bags. It's not until you hear raised voices up ahead that your gaze turns to the scene in front of you.

"-CAN'T JUST LAND SOMETHING LIKE THAT ON SOMEONE AND JUST EXPECT THEM TO BE OKAY WITH IT!"

"OH, SO YOU WANT ME TO KEEP STUFF FROM YOU NOW? WHAT HAPPENED TO 'YOU CAN TELL ME ANYTHING?!'"

You stop. You're aware that you're slowly approaching a fight, so you stop, just a few meters away. You feel that walking any further would be an evasion of their privacy – despite that several oblivious shoppers still stream past the pair without a second glance. But to you, it just feels wrong.

It takes a few minutes for you to realize that standing awkwardly in the middle of a busy pavement probably isn't the best idea – already many disgruntled shoppers have pushed and shoved past or nudged your shoulder. You walk over to lean against a shop window, not taking your eyes of the argument a few meters away. They are still within earshot.

"-NOT LIKE I DIDN'T WANT TO TELL YOU, I JUST-"

"WHAT. JUST WHAT MERLIN?"

You've now got a good steady view of the scene unfolding in front of you – occasionally interrupted when a clump of people trudged past. Curiosity building, you begin to study the two men more closely.

The first man, who is screaming at the other, is a tall attractive blond, with a strong, broad chest under his white-buttoned shirt – he has probably recently come from work, what with his polished black shoes and ironed trousers. Unless he usually dresses that smart. You watch as he runs his long fingers through that perfect golden mess on top of his head, and he paces around for a second before turning to face the other man.

The second man is about the same height as the blond, but that's where the similarities end. He’s skinny, lankier in frame with long angular arms that are currently gesturing wildly at the other man trying to prove a point. You notice his ridiculous ears, which stick out a little and remind you of a mouse – but accompanied with his dark brown hair that curls around those ears, the result is quite endearing. This man, with his youthful face, stunning cheekbones and raven hair, is apparently called Merlin – if the yells from the blond were anything to go by.

"YOU SHOULD HAVE TRUSTED ME MERLIN, THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE-" the blond starts, but the other man, Merlin, cuts him off.

"NO! YOU DON'T GET TO SAY THAT NOW, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, YOU.." Merlin shakes as he screams across the street. "IT'S NOT- IT'S NOT THAT EASY," His voice cracks at the end from over use. He too starts to pace up and down the pavement, shoulders hunched over and shaking a little – and…is that? Is he? Yes, he is…the poor guy is trying not to cry, looking anywhere but the man a few meters away from him.

The blond seems to soften at the image, tilting his head as he hesitantly approaches his friend. You see his lips move as he slowly reaches out to Merlin, his words swallowed up in the noises of the street bustling around you. They have stopped shouting. You watch intently as he rests a gentle hand on Merlin's shoulder, his eyes staring at the back of Merlin's neck – but whatever the man said clearly isn’t good enough. Merlin flinches away at the touch and steps out of the blond's reach, glaring back intensely. You inch a couple of steps closer now that the pair had stopped yelling, keen to hear more.

"That's NOT going to work, and you should know that," Merlin announces loud and calm. The sudden change in emotion is frightening – you can almost see the walls the dark haired boy is hiding behind as he puts more space between himself and the blond. Somehow, this is more terrifying, more powerful than when the two were yelling. Merlin's eyes bore into the blond's.

"You can't POSSIBLY understand, so don't even try. I knew I couldn't trust you with this, I knew that when you found out I-"  
A car rushes past on the road next to them, drowning out Merlin's words.

"And I- I can't do this Arthur, I-" His voice quivers for a second, and you catch a glimpse of the raw pain and hurt behind this calm and collected act Merlin is putting on…then he clears his throat and delivers those final words.

"I'm done."

And with that single sentence, Merlin turns and walks down the street, jumps in a nearby taxi and is whisked away without a second glance for the blond.


	2. Chapter 2

You watch with wide eyes as the blond stands stock still, mouth opening and closing... like he keeps trying to say something, but remembers that Merlin is already gone, and there’s no point trying to speak. You see his mouth form the word "No.." and he starts pacing around nervously, his fingers running through his hair again, more frantically this time. After a few minutes, he drops down on to the steps outside of a house, presumably his own, and rests his head in his hands...apparently crying. Different crying to Merlin's though; just a few tears rolling down his cheeks, his breath hitching as he tried to calm down, his hands coming up to wipe away stray tears.

You feel a heavy pull in the pit of your stomach as you glance away from the scene for the first time since you began watching. You have just watched this man's relationship (is that what it was?) collapse in front of your eyes. Even though you haven't caused the fight or have even been part of the argument in any way – you still feel painfully guilty that you had just stood there and watched, and done nothing to help.

No. This is stupid – you should just pick up your bags, walk away and forget this happened…it's nothing to do with you! You shouldn't even have listened in, what's wrong with you?! You reach down to pick up your heavy bags once again, and start to walk down the street – but at the exact moment you pass the blond, you hear a voice.

"Hey."

You freeze, not daring to turn to your right to look at the man. Your brain spins at a million miles an hour…had he spotted you staring earlier? Is he angry that someone saw him getting emotional, and actually crying? To be honest that’s his own damn fault, having a fight in the middle of the street in full view of the public – who does that? Or maybe he just wants the company, maybe he's trying to make a new friend…maybe you're over thinking this and all he really wants is directions or something or…or…or…

You're about to force your legs to move when the blond starts talking again.

"…yeah. Sorry, I was trying to…think what to say, I suppose. Oh god...I'm so sorry, j-just, please come home Merlin-"

Aahh. Merlin. The poor guy’s on the phone. Phew.

"-just…I need...oh crap Merlin just please come home, I promise I won't shout, okay? I can't say I'll understand…like you said, but I-" The man sniffs, then coughs, apparently disgusted at himself for crying. Out the corner of your eye you see him running his hands through his blond hair again. By now it's probably stuck up so much it'll look like he's been electrocuted.

"I can't…I can't do this, not on my own Merlin…you just surprised me that's all and I- I need to talk to you…properly. Without shouting, or…or anything, and not over voice-mail for gods sake! I mean..." The man sighs. "Call me when you get this."

He hangs up, and then you make your decision.

You turn around to face the blond where he stands on the steps.

You slowly breathe out and take a step towards him. "Ermm…are you okay?" you ask tentatively. The man looks up from his phone and stares at you curiously – it's only now that you are face to face that you see the shocking blue of his eyes. He doesn't answer.

You look up and down the street. "It's just… well I kind of saw what happened, you know, with your…friend," You glance back at him awkwardly, worried that he'll be freaked out that you were watching, or even annoyed that you caught him looking so weak.

He looks surprised. He shrugs as if to minimize his feelings and almost smiles. "Yeah...sorry about that," He shifts this weight on the step. "To be honest...I'm not- well. This is not like me at all, really...I mean - I'm actually crying. In public. Where people can see me." He shook his head.

You smile sadly at him, only beginning to imagine the jagged pain that must be cutting through him at this very moment... yet he still finds it in him to make a joke. Curiosity gripping you again, you decide you have to ask.

"So…this Merlin," you say, watching the blond closely for his reaction – and sure enough his strong shoulders tense up at the mention of that name. "Guessing he was, erm…" How should you put it? "Were you two…involved?" you ask nervously.

He manages a small chuckle at that.

"It's complicated…I suppose," he replies, looking uncomfortable. "We've known each other for years now, and…" He gives a nervous laugh. "I- I care about him, more than anything…and I can't believe I just said that out loud. But I don't- we haven't…"

He stutters, blue eyes glancing around the busy street.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked…it's not any of my business," you mutter, suddenly feeling out of place.

"No." he says, head snapping up to look at you. "No, it's okay. Erm…in fact, I think I'd like to talk about it," He gestures for you to sit beside him on the step – which you do, after looking pleasantly surprised.

"I don't even know your name," you wonder out loud.

"Arthur," He turns to look at you, blue eyes staring, still slightly red and puffy from crying.

"My name's Arthur."

***

You sit there with Arthur for a while, simply watching the busy high street and all the oblivious people walking past. This isn't what you'd planned to be doing on your Saturday afternoon, but you soon realize you don't mind in the slightest. There's something about helping out a stranger... that you can't quite put your finger on.

The wind whistles down the street, ruffling Arthur's blond hair as he gazes out across the road watching the cars go by - probably reliving that moment when Merlin climbed in that taxi and was taken away, you think to yourself.

"What was the argument about…exactly?" you ask after a while, you too staring out yet not looking at anything in particular. Arthur sighs audibly and pinches the bridge of his nose, eyes clamping shut.

"It was my fault," he admits, still with his eyes closed. "We've always been…close; I mean, he drives me mad and we argue…but he's my best friend. And- and whatever happens we've always trusted each other. That was always the bottom line. However crap a day we were having, we'd always talk and cheer each other up but then today he-" Arthur breaks off, his voice cracking as the earlier events came back to him, swimming in front of his eyes.

Arthur's eyes snap open, and go back to staring straight ahead. You look at him while he continues spilling his secrets to you, wondering why he'd reveal them all to a stranger. You'd heard that the experience was good for lightening the burden – but you're not sure how much of that was really true.

Arthur had started crying again. You pretend not to notice, saving him some embarrassment as he hastily wiped them away. Should you speak now?! What should you say?! What could you possibly say to help him?!

"He'd been keeping this secret from me," Arthur whispers suddenly, his blue eyes focused on something up ahead that you couldn't see. You wonder if he was even directly speaking to you anymore, or if he was simply thinking out loud. You let him carry on uninterrupted.

"All this time, after all we've been through…I'd tell him anything - I do tell him everything…and all this time, I thought he'd been doing the same. He- he broke our trust," Arthur's eyes are cold; his hands shaking slightly as he continued, his tears already betraying him again. He ignores them.

"Why didn't he tell me?! What, did he think I- I would…run away, leave him!? How could he- God, Merlin you're such an IDIOT!" Arthur yells, suddenly springing up from the step. "Did you think I would run, Merlin, is that it?! Was that why you didn't trust me?! Or- or.. have I got this wrong...did I not even mean enough to you?! 'Cause I'll tell you Merlin, there is NOTHING you could do that would push me away - because I am never leaving you, you hear me?!" Arthur shouts bitterly up at the sky, angry tears splashing down his face. He wipes them away again just as angrily.

"Arthur?" you ask hesitantly, standing up and gently placing your hand on his shaking shoulder.

"This is my fault," he repeats, voice quivering again as he sinks back onto the step. "This is all my fault…this is all my fault…this is all my fault…this is all my fault…" he mutters, more to himself now than to you as he rests his head on his hands once again.

"This is all my fault, this is all my fault, this is all my fault…"

You watch him silently as fresh tears continue to drip onto the pavement between his feet.


	3. Chapter 3

It's so fragile, relationships, you think…even the strongest ones. It's stupid how being rude can be seen as being honest, how lying can be seen as being protective, how concern can be interfering…and how wrong things can be good, sometimes.

You're subtly aware that Arthur has stopped mumbling. Is that a good thing or not? You shift your weight on the step and try to see Arthur from a better angle; his blond hair dishevelled, his eyes red and blotchy. You wait a couple more minutes before steeling yourself round to ask.

"Why don't you go see him?" you ask simply, absent-mindedly playing with the plastic handles of your shopping bags. "I mean, I know it won't be easy…but..I can't help feeling like, you should be telling him all this."

Arthur's entire frame tenses up at the suggestion. Then he slowly raises his head out of his hands.

"He doesn't want to see me," Arthur says bluntly, blue eyes returning to their previous coldness. "You heard what he said…'I'm done', he said…he doesn't want to- ..he won't listen."

"I still think you two should talk-"

"No." he interrupts, his eyes snapping to yours. "No, it- it won't work…" Arthur sighs. You wonder what could possibly have happened…what could have damaged their relationship so badly, so deep that Merlin couldn't cope with being around any longer. The niggling guilty feeling returns as you struggle with Arthur's pain – you desperately want to help, to make things right again…but you're at a loss. What are you supposed to say in this situation?

"He lied." Arthur continues, unaware of your own internal struggle. "He lied to me…and I pushed him away…and now- now, I miss him." He blinks. He looks surprised at himself, as if he's never said it out loud before, never dared to think about it, until his mouth went ahead and said it anyway.

"I miss him." Arthur repeats, as if he's savouring these new words in his mouth, testing them out – again looking surprised at how easily they roll off his tongue.

"Tell him that," you encourage, nudging him with your shoulder. "I think he deserves to know."

Arthur doesn't reply; he resumes staring off into the distance, his mouth slightly open as you watch him make up his mind.

A small voice in the back of your head nags away, reminding you that Arthur still hasn't fully explained what caused the argument in the first place – but you push the thought away. It's unfair to Arthur. He's already spilt out enough secrets and it's bad enough to listen in to start with. Guilt nibbling away at your insides, you decide not to push Arthur for that certain piece of information - no matter how much you want to know.

You lost track of how long you'd been sitting here with Arthur – your day of carefree shopping seems days ago. Your thoughts stray to Merlin and his somewhat dramatic exit. Where could he have gone? Does he usually live with Arthur, or does he have his own place? Or maybe they aren't that close – but you have a feeling they're used to seeing each other on a daily basis. You can almost imagine Arthur coming home from work and having Merlin confront him, revealing this big secret of his - pushing their friendship to the limit and eventually breaking the trust between them. Your sympathy for the blond sitting next to you swells significantly. Is Merlin regretting the fight, wherever he is now? Regretting everything he has said to Arthur, wishing he could take it back but not having the courage to say it out loud…

How long has Merlin been gone now?

"I want to go see him."

You turn and look at Arthur, surprised at his change of mind.

"Do you know where he'll be?" you ask curiously, watching him as he nervously runs his fingers through his hair. Arthur sighs.

"I can guess," He sighs again, breathing heavily through his nose as he steels himself round. He then slowly stands up, stretching his back after being sat on the cold, hard step for so long.

You stand up also, suddenly feeling very awkward…what happens now?! You glance uncertainly at Arthur; you desperately want to go with him, make sure things go okay, make sure the right things are said and maybe, maybe even find out what this great secret of Merlin's is.

But you know you can't. You hardly know these people…this is their business, and you should give them their space. You've done your bit, now just leave. Go. Now!

"Erm…you wouldn't have any change would you? For a taxi?" Arthur suddenly says, turning back to face you. He hesitates, as if making up his mind. "And…you can come along…if you want."

Shocked at the gesture and the trust Arthur was putting in you, you stand frozen for a couple of seconds before stumbling forward.

"Oh god, Arthur…" you begin, not sure how to respond. You look down at your fingernails. "I mean…I don't want to intrude, this is really between you and Merlin, it's none of my business and I never should have listened in to start with-"

"No," Arthur cuts off your rambling, smiling slightly at you. "No, it's okay. Look, if it wasn't for you – I'd probably would have spent the rest of my life sat brooding on that step."

You don't say anything, still unsure that you know each other well enough to go with him.

"Oh come on – if I was going to stab you in an alleyway or nick your money don't you think I would have done it before I'd cried to you like a three year old?! In public?!"

You make up your mind, and smile back at Arthur.

"Well, if I'm coming with you, we might as well use my own car – it's just down the road a little…I was on my way to it when I spotted you two."

***

You walk down the busy high street with Arthur, questioning him more about his relationship with Merlin.

"How did you two meet anyway?" you ask, feeling more and more relaxed around Arthur which gave way for your burning curiosity.

Arthur chuckles lightly. "Nosy, that's what you are," Both of you soon reach the car and you gesture politely for Arthur to take the passenger seat.

"Well, we went to the same university, and that's where we first met," he continues, closing the door and buckling in as you sit in the driver's seat. You start the car.

"He only had his friends Gwen and Will at that point, and I only knew my sister- well, half sister technically. Gwen and 'Gana got to know each other through their classes…I think they ended up being partners in most of them…and then one time after lectures they introduced us both. Oh, left here…" Arthur comes out of his reminiscing for a moment to direct you down a side road.

"That was basically it really," he carries on, glazed look returning to his face as he fell back into his memories. "I mean, he's a complete idiot – and we didn't really get on at first…we used to fight a lot about stupid things-" He gives a hollow laugh. "Ironic, isn't it?! But- but…things changed after that one time…I think it was about a month after we'd first met. I was in an argument with 'Gana over something really stupid…and-" Arthur breaks off, lost in his past.

You wait for a moment, to see if he would continue. When he doesn't, you take your eyes off the road for a second to glance at the blond.

"And?" you encourage.

Arthur sighs. "All I remember…I just remember him shouting out my name – I thought he was going to tell me off for arguing with my sister…and then suddenly I felt him ram into me, pushing me out of the way…just as- just as a heavy truck rushed past us." Arthur pauses. "He- he saved my life."

Arthur stops. His eyebrows knit together as he stares out the window, deep in thought. He only speaks again to direct you to the right turning on a round-a-bout.

Aware that you had reached a sensitive subject, you shift awkwardly in your seat and attempt to move the conversation on.

"So…you've been friends…ever since?" you ask sheepishly, wondering if Arthur was ready to talk again.

You hear him breathe deeply out through his nose.

"Yeah…pretty much," he replies quietly, watching the scenery change as it flies past his window. "He's the best friend I've ever had."

He falls silent again. You feel that niggling guilt and awkwardness as you remember the current state of Arthur and Merlin's relationship. You pray silently to yourself that somehow they would work things out. You don't think you could cope with walking past a crying Arthur on his step every time you go shopping.

Arthur still remains quiet. You can only imagine the whirlpool of thoughts rushing round in Arthur's head… You're tempted to turn on the radio to break the slightly awkward silence that had filled up the car – but you don't want to interrupt Arthur's thoughts.

You wonder when he's going to realise that he cares a lot more about Merlin than a friend normally does - and you are about to ask him this when Arthur finally speaks.

"It's down this road," Arthur pipes up suddenly, blue eyes searching over the houses to his left. "That one," he says, pointing.

You look over at the house Arthur is gesturing to. It is, at first glance, identical to it's neighbours – but at a closer look you can spot the little homey touches the owner has made to the house. You pull up by the curb outside it and stop the car.

"Is this…Merlin's?" you ask, curiosity getting the better of you again.

"Gwen's." he answers, not taking his eyes off the house. "Merlin lives with me normally, but obviously…" he trails off again, blue eyes raking over the front of the house. You can sense that Arthur's nervous – he's already started wringing his hands anxiously, like they are itching to run through his blond hair again. There is a lot riding on the next few minutes.

"You ready?" you ask, unable to watch Arthur's panicking any longer.

"Doesn't matter," he replies, voice shaky. "I've got to do this either way."


	4. Chapter 4

Arthur is standing outside the house, arm hanging in the air, his fist tentatively hovering next to the wooden door. You can see from where you stand a few metres back that he is hesitating, steeling himself round to what he is about to do.

“Go on.” you encourage.

He sighs, and then stands up straighter, puffing out his chest a little before rapping his knuckles against the door. You take a few steps forwards, eager to see the events soon to unfold before you. After a few seconds the door opens – revealing a dark-skinned, pretty woman with tight, black curls that fall way past her shoulders. On seeing Arthur, the woman – who you assume was Gwen - sighs a little and shakes her head.

“He doesn’t want to see you, Arthur.” she says firmly before Arthur even had the chance to open his mouth. Despite her stern tone, you can hear the underlying sympathy Gwen felt for the blond. Arthur shifts his feet a little, perhaps to glance over her shoulder on the lookout for a certain raven-haired boy.

“I know he doesn’t, but I need to see him…” Arthur replies, wringing his hands. “Please, Gwen, I just want him to hear me out.”

Gwen sighs.

“Oh, Arthur…I don’t know – he’s really not in a good place right now and I’m not sure if-“ Gwen’s eyes suddenly latch onto you as she stares over Arthur’s shoulder.

“Who’s this?” Gwen inquires, dark brown eyes looking you up and down.

Arthur turns round to look at you, mouth twisting a little as if he was making up his mind. He looks back at Gwen.

“A friend.” He replies firmly. “They did me favour…and…well…oh for gods sakes, it’s not important- can’t I at least see him Gwen?! Just see him?! I won’t fight, I promise, I won’t argue with him…I just need to explain.” Arthur’s blue eyes were starting to swim again. “Just…even if he doesn’t want me to talk…let him know I’m sorry.”

You watch as Gwen’s face softens at Arthur’s words. You’ve gotten to notice Arthur has this little kicked puppy kind of look he puts on when he wants something, almost like a pout…and he can literally get away with murder. Gwen groans, realising she had made up her mind long ago, and steps back into her house, allowing Arthur to follow her in.

“I know I’m going to regret this…Arthur, promise not to upset him anymore, and if he wants you to leave, you leave. Okay?!” she looks sternly back at Arthur.

“Okay.” He replies, smiling slightly at her. He stops, about to close the door, when he turns and gestures you to follow him in.

You frown at him.

“What?! Oh no…oh no, Arthur I couldn’t, no…” you start, shaking your head vigorously when you catch on to what Arthur means.

“Oh come on! Like I said, you’re a friend now – and god knows I don’t have many of those.” Arthur smiles brightly, but you can see the deep sadness behind his words. And as you sigh and walk forward to follow him inside, you wonder if he’s really joking.

***

You end up sitting rather awkwardly at Gwen’s kitchen table, hands tightly gripped round a steaming mug of tea Gwen had insisted on making for you. You feel extremely out of place; you know a lot about these people, but to them you are simply a stranger. Maybe a rather helpful and compassionate stranger, but a stranger none-the-less.

Gwen comes back into the room a few minutes later. You can see the tiredness round her eyes and the way her whole body relaxes as she sinks into a chair opposite you.

You mind is whirring silently as you wonder what Arthur is saying to Merlin right now. You wonder if Merlin has been crying anymore, whether he’ll be happy that Arthur’s arrived, or whether he’ll push him away like he did before… And what was this great secret of Merlin’s?! What wouldn’t you give to listen in to their conversation right now …see if this gaping hole in their friendship will be healed, see if Merlin can forgive Arthur, see if they can trust each other again.

“He’s talking to him now,” she says wearily, as if to answer your question. You weren’t sure if she was expecting an answer or simply stating it out loud, but you nod slightly anyway and take a sip from your tea. After a while, you look back at Gwen and were surprised to find that her dark, brown eyes were searching you curiously.

“How do you know Arthur?” she asks; whether out of politeness or curiosity, you couldn’t tell. Probably a mixture of both.

You look down at the steaming mug in your hands, unsure how to start.

“It’s…well. I only just met him today – I overhead him and Merlin arguing, in the middle of the street,” you begin, relieving that moment that seems days ago now.

“It’s kind of embarrassing…I’ve no idea why I stopped and listened – but I did, and when I saw Merlin storm off…well. I suppose I just couldn’t carry on and walk past Arthur without at least asking if he was okay.”

“I’d never seen a grown man cry before. It was…heart breaking…and I just couldn’t leave him on that step to cry for the rest of his life.” You pause, glancing back at Gwen. She smiles sadly at you, silently willing you to continue.

“So I stopped, and asked if he was alright. And then, I don’t know why, he just carried on to tell me everything, about Merlin, about the fight…about this big secret…about Merlin saving his life…”

Gwen’s forehead creases at these words.

“Hang on…what big secret?!” she whispers, as if Merlin and Arthur could hear them in the next room. “I don’t remember Merlin saying anything about a secret.”

Your eyes widen and you bring a hand to your mouth, as if to stop any more secrets spilling from it. You stare back at Gwen, who was still frowning in confusion. Wait, so Gwen didn’t know either? What was this big mystery that Merlin was so keen to hide away? Even from his best friends?

Well, now you’ve blown it. Merlin obviously didn’t want people to know for a reason, and now thanks to you another person knows Merlin’s hiding something. Can’t keep your mouth shut, can you?!

You open your mouth slightly, wondering what to reply to Gwen.

“Er…I’m not sure – Arthur said Merlin was hiding something from him…oh god, I really shouldn’t tell you all this, I don’t know how much…how much Arthur wants you to know…” you stumble over your words a little, again feeling rather small in this house full of strangers. You don’t know Gwen. Gwen doesn’t know you. Okay, maybe you now know Arthur – but as much as you’ve heard about Merlin, you’ve never even said a single word to him. He probably doesn’t even know you’re here.

After a while, Gwen’s frown relaxes, and she smiles at you again.

“Oh don’t worry, I’m sure Merlin has a good reason for not telling me. I won’t mention it to them, it’s okay,” she said softly. You smile back, wondering how such a gentle and trusting person could function in this day and age – this time of lies and secrets and betrayal… just how long would Gwen’s bright and shining view of the world last?

“Thanks.” You smile back across the table at her, slowly spinning your half empty mug round and round in your hands. Another burning question is bouncing on the tip of your tongue…but you’re unsure if it’s really your place to ask.

Oh, what the hell – Gwen doesn’t seem like the kind of person to judge.

“So…Gwen,” you start, thinking over how to phrase your question, hands still turning your mug round by the handle.

“Hmmm?” she replies, looking up from her own mug.

“Arthur and Merlin…are they… I mean – do they…er, I mean, it kind of seems to me like…” you stutter, cursing inwardly at your inability to form coherent sentences. You swear you had it, like, just a second ago.

Luckily, Gwen steps in.

“Like they’re so ferociously loyal and dedicated to each other it’s like they’re a married couple?!”

You laugh, grin spreading wide on your face. Gwen smiles cheekily back at you before draining the last of her tea.

“Erm, yeah sure,” you reply. You eye the closed door back down the hallway, wondering whether Arthur and Merlin realise just how obvious they are.


	5. Chapter 5

_You eye the closed door back down the hallway, wondering whether Arthur and Merlin realise just how obvious they are._

_***_

“No, but seriously.” You start again, wrenching your gaze off the door and back onto Gwen. “I mean – the way Arthur was talking about Merlin earlier…it’s like - I don’t know what it’s like…”

Gwen nods at you, smiling. “He cares so much for Merlin. It’s actually…painful to watch sometimes; they’re both just so wrapped up in their denial and confusion and…stupid, petty arguments…” She sighs, and stands up, picking the two now empty mugs off the table.

“What did Merlin tell you?” you ask, curious. Gwen puts the two mugs in the sink and runsthe tap for a few seconds - then turns back to face you, leaning casually on the side of the worktop. She sighs.

“He wouldn’t. He just sat on the sofa, staring at his hands – he was shaking at first, I could see it in his fingers…”

***

She heard a click of a lock and a sudden bang as her door swung open. A certain raven-haired boy rushed through her hallway, slamming the door behind him. Gwen caught a glimpse of his face as he flew past her, features contorted with pain and his startling blue eyes now red and empty.

“Merlin?! Merlin, what’s wrong?!” Gwen followed him into her living room, heart suddenly pounding in her chest as she watched him sink onto the couch, gritting his teeth and shaking slightly.

“What happened?” she asked tentatively, voice starting to shake with worry. She took a step closer. He didn’t reply, just sat there, sniffing occasionally in an unsuccessful attempt to stop tears rolling down his cheekbones.

It stayed like that for a while. For how long, Gwen couldn’t remember. Seconds stretched painfully on at first…and then hours flew by like minutes. She had also sunk down on the other end of her sofa, not wanting to push Merlin any further. She watched him for a while – every tear that dropped on her carpet, the way he hunched over as he leant his forearms on his thighs. She couldn’t bare to see him like this, it hurt her, like a physical pain in her chest…Merlin was the kindest, gentlest soul she knew – and she knew he carried a lot on his shoulders that he didn’t often tell her or the others about. He was so modest, never wanting to burden anyone else with his problems. Merlin pulled his sleeves down over his palms and tried to wipe his eyes with the cuff. Gwen knew she should be grateful that Merlin had even come to see her; he could have easily left town or…or gone off to a pub somewhere and sat brooding, sat blaming himself over and over…they might have never seen him again. She couldn’t even think about that. What would that have done to Arthur?! If Merlin had left, if he had just got in a taxi and drove and drove until nobody there knew his name – it would have destroyed Arthur. Gwen was certain of it. That was the thing with Merlin - he could be so…unpredictable when he was upset. Gwen worried about him, constantly. He could so easily get himself hurt; he was too trusting, too forgiving… Others had said the same thing about Gwen before, and she knew she shared this problem…but with Merlin, it was different. He could be so, so…what was the word? He was surprising at times; Gwen remembered when she first met him – being fooled into believing that he was the shy, quiet person he looked like from the outside. But she soon discovered his true personality… He could be so wise, so insightful - and at other times outrageously cheeky. And, at times, just frustratingly oblivious. Especially when it came to Arthur.

So now, Gwen was scared. She had never seen Merlin like this – so shut down, so empty… Normally Merlin would shake problems off with a joke and that wide grin of his, or take it out on Arthur and tease him relentlessly. But she had never…ever seen Merlin like this. Like he had given up.

tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock

The silence fell heavily in the room, pressing down on the two of them. Gwen’s brain was still whirring; what happened? Was it Arthur? What did he do?! Merlin?! What did he say?! Merlin! What should she do?! Should she call Arthur?! Did he want to talk to him?! Should she try and talk to him?! What did he want her to do?! Merlin?!

All these burning questions swam round and round her head, desperate to be asked – but Gwen knew that they would not help matters. Merlin needed time. And space. Those usual things.

She got up slowly, still eyeing Merlin sadly and made her way into her tidy kitchen. He didn’t react to her movements. She searched quickly for her phone and after unlocking it, she sent two texts – one to Arthur, and one to Lance, her fiancé.

**Arthur – what the hell happened?! G. x**

**Hey sweetie - look somethings happened with Arthur & Merlin, like something really bad :/ I dont know what to do?! Merlin wont talk to me :/ G. xxxx**

She chucked her phone back on the counter and breathed out deeply, pinching the bridge of her nose. God, those two were going to be the death of her.

She walked back into her living room, and was surprised to see that Merlin had got up. He eyes were puffy, with dark purple shadows underneath them and dried tears streaking down his pale face. He stared at a spot near Gwen’s feet, not daring to look up at her – his forehead still creased with worry and his fists were clenched. Gwen took a step closer into the room.

“Merlin?!” she said quietly. “Sweetie?” He didn’t speak, but he slowly walked forward to make his way out the room and down the hallway. No way was he just getting up and leaving, not now, not after all that. As he past Gwen, she reached out her hand and stopped him, clasping his forearm gently, and then firmly when he tried to tug free. His head shot up to look at her at the touch, blue eyes piercing through her – but soon they started to swim again. He blinked, attempting to stop the tears before they came and then turned fully to face Gwen, forcing a weak smile on his face. The effect was lessened slightly by the fact his lips were trembling.

He took a deep breath, and blew shakily through his mouth.

“Gwen, I-“ Merlin broke off, eyes welling up again as he glanced around and up at the ceiling, desperate not to cry again. He bit his lip.

Gwen’s heart broke at the image and she pulled the raven-haired boy into a hug, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck. She felt his shoulders shake as he finally gave in and began crying again, hugging her waist just as tight. She traced random patterns on the back of his neck and ran her fingers through his hair, muttering words of comfort now and again.

“Shushh, now, it’s okay,” she whispered, squeezing him tighter. She heard Merlin mumbling incoherently into her neck, sometimes picking up words like ‘Arthur’, or ‘couldn’t understand’.

After a while Gwen pulled back, rubbing his shoulders and looking up at him sadly.

“Tea?” she asked tenderly. He nodded, and stepped out of Gwen’s embrace to make his way back into the living room. Gwen smiled sadly at his retreating back, heart swelling – and then starting walking slowly back to her kitchen.

“Gwen,”

She turned back quickly, to see Merlin sinking into the sofa once again.

“I don’t want to talk to him, Gwen. So don’t try and convince me otherwise.”

She nodded, having realised this fact a while ago. She knew Merlin’s stubborn ways from past experience. But she knew that someday they’d have to talk – Gwen was not letting them stay upset with each other for long. Some day soon, they would have to sort this out. They were Arthur and Merlin, Merlin and Arthur; they were not meant to be apart. And Gwen knew they couldn’t survive long on their own.

“Whatever you say, sweetie.”

***

“Oh God.” You say after a while. “I mean – Arthur took it badly…but Merlin-“ you break off, staring hopelessly at Gwen. She shook her head.

“I know, I know…” She picks up her phone from the table. “Lance hasn’t replied yet – he must be in a meeting still…” she mutters, after locking her phone again. She glances at the closed door down the hallway, her tired dark eyes looking more and more worried. “How long have they been talking for now?!”

You take your own phone out your pocket and check the time.

“Hmm…not sure. Probably about half an hour…” you say quietly, now staring at the door as well.

“Well, that’s either really good, or very, very bad…” Gwen remarks, not taking her eyes off the door either.

You both stay silent in Gwen’s small kitchen for a while, straining your ears for any tell-tale sounds coming from the room. You could hear faint mumbling from behind the walls, but nothing either of you could make out into words.

Gwen lifted her weight off the counter and started pacing back and forth, her soft shoes scuffing the tiles on her kitchen floor.

tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock


	6. Chapter 6

3:16pm.

Your phone blinks at you from where it rests in the palms of your hands. You flip it round and round in your fingers, listening to the steady beat as it hits the table over and over again. You feel restless, wanting to get up and pace, or…do something at least – your palms are slightly sweaty, and your fingers itch uncomfortably. You stare round Gwen's kitchen, not looking at anything much in particular – just waiting…and waiting…and waiting…and waiting…

…and waiting…

You can still hear muffled sounds coming from behind the door; sometimes they get louder so you can almost make out what they're saying…and yet sometimes it dims down to nothing at all. No words properly come through. Only mumbles.

3:18pm. Gwen had sat back at the table opposite you. She flicks open her phone, only to close it again and sigh.

_"I mean, he's a complete idiot…"_

The silence comes into the room again and seems to make itself comfortable. The door down the corridor remains stubborn and evasive, no matter how much you glare at it. How long does it take? How much is there to say? Really? What else is happening? You cross your legs tightly under the table and attempt to resist the urge to tap your foot impatiently.

_"He- he saved my life."_

You wonder whether Arthur has figured things out yet. You wonder whether Merlin is taking the time to listen. You wonder what would happen if Merlin didn't forgive him, or if Arthur gave up…or...or... You glance at the door again. If you're honest, this is the most interesting thing that has happened to you in a long while – you don't know how you put up with the normal day-to-day without some kind of drama happening. Although, Gwen doesn't seem to enjoy it much. Clearly she's had to put up with Merlin and Arthur's arguments for years now and is truly fed up with it all. Maybe that's why she looks so tired. You wonder what kind of job Gwen's fiancé, Lance has, or if Gwen has a job too. You wonder whether Gwen is often left on her own in this big empty house. You wonder if she really minds. Maybe Lance is planning on quitting his job to spend more time with Gwen. Maybe they get along fine just like they are. Maybe…maybe this was just a one-off. Yes, that was probably it… You start to wonder about other things. How they met. How they fell in love. When they are getting married. Whether they are considering children. You look at Gwen again where she sits opposite you, her head in her hands and elbows resting on the table. You wonder if these people are happy.

_"He's the best friend I've ever had."_

You wonder if Merlin and Arthur could be happy.

_"…god knows I don't have many of those."_

Gwen gets up again. She walks over to the answer machine that has been flashing unnoticed since you arrived. As she clicks it the machine beeps and plays the recorded message.

"You have  _two_  new messages. Message one. Saturday, 2.13pm."

That was today, you think, as you check your phone again. 3.20pm. You listen as a man's deep voice you don't recognise plays out into the otherwise silent room.

"Hey Gwen, honey – I'm probably going to be late home, I'm sorry – these people really don't know what they're talking about – but if I leave early I bet they'll agree to something stupid and expensive like last time. I'm really sorry sweetie, I'll get home as soon as I can, 'kay? Love you," The message ends. You see Gwen smile sadly at the plastic machine on the side table in front of her. You wonder how she gets by with crackly recordings of her fiancé for company on days like this. It must be hard.

Gwen clicks another button on the machine.

"Message deleted. You have  _one_  new message. Message one. Saturday, 12.44pm."

You don't recognise the voice coming out of the box straight away. It isn't Arthur's…but you're pretty sure you've heard it before...but then you realise.  _Merlin._ Of course…the voice sounded different when it wasn't breaking and cracking up as it screamed across a street. When it wasn't crying.

"Erm..hi, Gwen, it's me."

Gwen's attention had also perked up as she heard Merlin's voice on the recording. Her breath hitches in her throat and the voice hesitantly continues.

"Can we grab a coffee sometime soon, I need to talk to you ab- oh…hang on…Arthur, erm…hi-"

You hear some sort of commotion on the recording and the crackling makes it hard for you to make out the words… keeping as quiet as you can you could just about hear Arthur's voice in the background.

"WHAT THE  _HELL_  IS THIS?!"

"Oh, shit…Arthur, wait…let me exp-" The recording cuts out suddenly with another crackle as Merlin must have hung up.

You can almost hear the silence of the empty recording humming on the air.

Gwen carries on staring at the machine a long while after the recording ends. Her tired eyes are now wide with shock – she quickly glances up to meet your gaze, and then lets her brown eyes flicker over to that door.

3.23. Your thoughts stumble over themselves as you take in this new information. What was that all about?! Hadn't Merlin been the one to tell Arthur his secret?! You thought...you thought that  _that_  was what had happened. But it sounded like from the answer machine that Merlin had been caught out, that  _Arthur_  had discovered it and confronted  _him_ …

_"He's been keeping this secret from me."_

3.24. The mumbles behind the door got louder for a second. Your brain is still whirring. You glance over to Gwen where she stands leaning against the worktop, eyes still wide but glazed over, as if she too was deep in thought… trying to make heads or tails of Merlin's recording.

Had he been planning on telling Gwen about any of this?! What if Gwen had picked up the phone when Merlin had rang earlier…or if he had rang her yesterday instead of today, and managed to tell Gwen his big secret…?

And how on earth had Arthur found out? What had he discovered?! Was- was that the reason the argument had started? Would Merlin have ever told Arthur if this hadn't happened? Would he?

_"Did you think I would run, Merlin, is that it?!"_

Gwen sits back at the table, unlocking and locking her phone over and over again, brown eyes staring blankly at her hands.

_"Was that why you didn't trust me?!"_

3.25. You jump as you think you hear a click from down the hallway, but soon realise you must have imagined it. Your fingers itch to go over and just open that damn door yourself and tell them to get on with it. Or even just make Merlin come straight out and say it - say whatever he was keeping from everyone. Couldn't he see the hurt he was inflicting on his friends? On Arthur?

_"He lied."_

You wonder, for probably the thousandth time that day, what on earth Merlin was hiding. What could possibly be so terrible that Merlin couldn't even bring himself to tell his closest friends about, to tell  _Arthur_  about…

_"…and I pushed him away…"_

Come on. Come  _on._ 3.26. You drum your fingers against the edge of Gwen's kitchen table, concentrating on breathing deeply, in through your nose, out through your mouth…in…out…in…out…

_"This is all my fault…"_

…in…out…in…out…this isn't helping. You notice Gwen's brown eyes on you and you look up at her, smiling weakly. She returns the smile, though it doesn't quite reach her eyes.

_"...he won't listen."_

Just what...

 _"Why_ _didn't he-"_

...was he...

_"-tell-"_

...hiding?!

_"-me?!"_

3.27pm.

It's just a click and a creak of a doorhandle, but to you it sounds like Arthur had slammed the door open.

Your head snaps up at the movement; you ignore the sudden whiplash, and you notice out the corner of your eye Gwen's head do the same. Arthur quickly steps out into the hallway, and he soon becomes aware of you and Gwen staring at him expectantly. He looks tired, blonde hair a mess and blue eyes looking strained - you wonder whether he has been crying anymore.

Merlin doesn't appear at the doorway. You realise after a while that both you and Gwen had risen from your seats.

The silence hovers awkwardly in the air, wondering whether it was welcome any longer.

"I'm- I'm going to-" Arthur starts, his voice cracking slightly. He sighs, and reaches his hand up to pinch the bridge of nose. He stares at the floor, and you could almost feel the exhaustion cascading off him in waves.

"I'm going to have to think this over..." he mutters, each word sounding like an enormous effort.

"Arthur?!" Gwen says softly as she tentatively steps forward – but Arthur had already turned and reached to open Gwen's front door. He turns back, half out of the house, just to see Merlin appear in the hallway. Arthur's mouth twitches a little, as if he was about to smile but decides against it.

"Arthur I…" Merlin starts quietly, his voice cracking too. But Arthur doesn't respond; you watch as he sighs and steps fully out the door, closing it firmly behind him.

You hear Merlin let out a long breath that you aren't sure he knew he was holding. He turns slowly and makes his way back down the hallway, his piercing blue eyes weary, and Gwen following him as he went. You are about to follow, when you hear a quick tap on the door. Your eyebrows knit together in a frown. Is Arthur back again?! Has he forgotten something?! You sigh resignedly and walk over to open the door again.

Yep. Arthur.

He stands on the doorstep, blonde hair rustling a little in the wind. He isn't looking at you, but at the small piece of paper he holds in his hands.

"Tell Merlin…he can have this back," he mutters, thrusting his arm forward and forces you to take the paper. He glances at you then, blue eyes threatening to start swimming – but then he swivels round and walks swiftly back down to the path.

You watch him for a second, wondering how he was planning on getting home – he hasn't really thought that through, you think - then you pull the door back to until you hear it click.

It was only then, standing in Gwen's hallway, that you look down and properly study the paper in your hands.

Wait…

This was…

No.

 _No._  It couldn't be. No- it just  _couldn't_ …could it?

"Gwen!" you shout down the hallway, urgency rising fast in your voice. "Gwen, come quickly!"

She soon rushes through and comes to a stop in front of you, her brown eyes wide - then you hold up the paper. You watch her eyes widen even more when she sees what it is…

…a slightly blurry ultrasound photo; showing a very real, very  _alive_ , baby.


	7. Chapter 7

_Arthur was exhausted. He could feel his back creaking in protest as he stepped awkwardly into the taxi, flopping down on the back seat in relief. Some days, he really hated his job; his father had gone into retirement, granted, but that didn't stop him from spamming him with nosy emails, sending messages through 'Gana, ordering him about even now. Like he wasn't capable of running the business well enough on his own - he didn't need Uther hovering over his shoulder anymore, he could make his own decisions...there was nothing that frustrated Arthur more. It simply was one of the many things that pissed Arthur off, especially at work. Most days he couldn't wait to get home._

_Just...needed...to...get...home. Come on._

_Arthur's head drooped forward to lean against the cold window of the taxi, barely paying attention to the flashes of scenery that pass by. Then again, he could always take out his bad mood on Merlin, or...or something. That normally helped. Arthur lifted his head slightly and reached in his pocket for his Blackberry, and, after ignoring a missed call from Uther and a message from 'Gana, he sent a text to Merlin._

**God, the idiots at work are almost as bad as you**

_Smirking, Arthur flipped his phone around in his hands, and waited for Merlin's reply. He didn't think on it often, but it made him feel better than he'd like to admit knowing he always had Merlin to take the piss out of when work got stressful. Merlin was just so easy to wind up. God, Arthur was hungry...he just realised, that he'd been so swamped with work he'd had no time to eat. He racked his brain for the last time he'd eaten...it must have been that chicken and cheese toastie Merlin had made him yesterday. Despite all the times Arthur had called Merlin useless, one thing he could do was make a damn good toastie. Arthur could remember buying him a new toastie maker after several unsuccessful attempts, attempts that had resulted in a small, only slightly disastrous fire in Gwen's kitchen. Arthur chuckled at the memory, Merlin's black hair smoking slightly at the curled tips, his pale ears touched by dark grey patches of ash, a wide grin on his face. Merlin and fire did not mix; Arthur had made sure that the toastie maker was childproof, idiot proof... even Merlin proof._

_Arthur's phone suddenly bleeped and he looked down at the message._

**Hey, I'm offended. No one's as bad as me.**

_Arthur laughed, then realised he was in a taxi and tried to cover it up with a cough. It was strange how Merlin could change his mood within seconds. He tapped out his reply quickly and hit send._

**Oh sorry, yeah, I forgot.**

_Arthur glanced out the window, this time looking out for familiar scenery, wondering how soon he'd be home. Arthur smiled inwardly at his train of thought...'home'... he'd called it home. It was technically Merlin's place - but not long after he had finished university, there had been a particularly nasty argument with his father and Arthur's steady supply of money had been cut off. Merlin had kindly offered up a spare bedroom for Arthur to stay. He didn't know how it had happened, but ever so slowly over the past couple of years, the place had become just as much Arthur's as it was Merlin's. A couple of weeks turned into a few years, a spare bedroom turned into Arthur's own, and now with Arthur's own income he was slowly paying Merlin back for his rent. Even though Merlin insisted on several occasions that he didn't have to and he was being a "stupid, noble prat"._

_Merlin's reply came back just as swiftly._

**How could you forget?! *gasp* Clearly I do not spend enough time annoying you.**

_Well. Arthur might be a prat. But Merlin was certainly an idiot._

_Arthur texted back in a rush._

**NO IT'S OKAY I CAN REMEMBER WELL ENOUGH THANKS**

_This was what he had needed, noticing the wide grin that had been spreading across his face. Merlin, and the relentless, endless banter that came with him. He barely had time to rest his phone in his lap and glance out the window before he felt it vibrate again against his palms._

**Ohh okay, well if you're sure. I need to go annoy Gwen anyway**

_Arthur was now starting to recognise the rushes of scenery speeding past his window now, and he could roughly estimate how longer the car journey would be. He replied quickly to Merlin._

**Oh lucky her. I'll be home soon, anyway - is there anything to eat? I am literally starving..**

_Probably another five minutes or so, Arthur reckoned._

**I can order take away if you like? :)**

_Arthur's stomach practically growled looking down at Merlin's most recent message, his brain torturing him with images of steaming plastic tubs of chinese, hot plates of pepperoni pizza, with the odd slice of ham and pineapple - because Merlin likes it, for some bizarre reason. Pizza is not the place for fruit, in Arthur's opinion._

**Pizza please...oh my god I'm drooling...**

_Arthur hit send and dropped his phone down onto his lap, closed his eyes and willed the taxi to take him there faster. It was the end of a long week, and Arthur wanted nothing more than a simple evening in with Merlin, pizza and a nice cold six pack of beer Arthur was certain there was left in the fridge. That's all he really needed. They could watch repeats of one of Merlin's favourite TV shows, he always had another one on the go, and Arthur would rant about his father and work and Morgana and his father and how Merlin had eaten the last slice of pepperoni. And then possibly some more about his father._

_Arthur opened his eyes, and spotted Merlin's house drifting towards him on the left hand side._

_"Stop here, thanks." he piped up to the driver, passing him some notes and change into the guy's open hand._

_Unknown to him, Arthur would never get his perfect evening._

_He yanked his bag up from the foot well by its handles and stepped out of the taxi, thanking the driver over his shoulder. It felt good to be home. It seemed like he hadn't been_ home _for ages, what with all his late nights working and constant emails from Uther. He strolled briskly up to the steps, heaving his satchel over his shoulder, and had put his key into the lock when he spotted a white square of paper lying on the door mat. Arthur swooped down to pick it up and flipped it over...and felt the breath get knocked out of him._

_"W-what...no..what?!"_

_His bag slipped off his shoulder, landing clumsily on the step next to him and he frowned down at the picture, wishing it would stay still - then realised it was his own hands shaking. The messy, crooked pieces started to slot together in Arthur's mind, and with a surge of anger he wrenched his key from the lock and burst into the house, picture crumpling slightly in his balled fist._

_Through blurry, screwed up eyes, he could see Merlin, phone in hand, his back to Arthur - but the sound of the door opening must have alerted Merlin to his arrival, and he turned around._

_"-need to talk to you ab- oh…hang on…Arthur, erm…hi-" Merlin stuttered, half down the phone, half out to Arthur._

_"WHAT THE_ HELL _IS THIS?!" Arthur could feel a pulse rising in his wrists, in his temple, in his chest as he spat out his words at Merlin, chucking the screwed up picture onto the floor between them both. Merlin's eyes widened suddenly, and he fumbled about with the phone to end the call._

_"Oh, shit…Arthur, wait…let me explain...it's not what you think, okay-"_

_"Oh, REALLY?! Then what- then what_ exactly _is it?" Arthur yelled, voice straining from over use. He hurt. A lot. Whatever this was, whatever the HELL was going on here, Merlin had lied to him; hidden this from him, such an extremely important part of his life, and Arthur had no idea. God, who's baby even was it?! Arthur wasn't under the impression that Merlin had been seeing anyone, in fact...he'd been starting to think that - well. Clearly not._

 _"What the_  fuck _is going on?! What- w_ _hy didn't you tell me about this?!"_

_Merlin had dropped the phone back on the table, and was now facing Arthur with a look of anger rising in his face._

_"I knew it." He practically whispered it, and Arthur was shocked by the tone of his voice, almost tempted to take a step back. Merlin had never looked...formidable. No, not childish, clumsy Merlin. This was strange, this was different - not like Merlin at all...or was it? Had Arthur even known Merlin at all?_

_"I fucking knew it. Do you see now? Do you get it?" Merlin's voice was shaking, rising, and his fists started to clench. Arthur was speechless._ _"I knew you'd be like this. That's why I didn't tell you - I wanted to, I did-" Merlin began, but Arthur had enough. This wasn't about him, this was all Merlin...god, how long had he been lying to him?_

 _"Then why didn't you?! Why_  didn't  _you?_   _You can tell me anything Merlin, you know that...you always- you've always known that." Arthur's voice softened involuntarily towards the end, feeling the tiredness waiting to fall back on his shoulders. Why hadn't Merlin told him? Why was that so hard? Was he ashamed, or...or confused, or scared...or...oh god, Merlin was a_ father _._

_The room had gone eerily quiet after Arthur's words, and he felt the rising need to ask the ultimate question._

_"Is it yours?"_

_Merlin stood stock still, not looking at Arthur and he stayed like that for a while, staring blankly at the crumpled picture on the floor._

_"Merlin, is it yours?!" he repeated, feeling the uncontrollable anger filling him up again. What if it_ was _Merlin's? What would that mean...would he move out, go raise his family with this mystery girl...or kick Arthur out, or...or..._

_"I need to go see Gwen." Merlin muttered, breaking Arthur's chain of thought, then without a second glance, he strode forwards and pushed past Arthur, straight out through the door. Arthur's heart hammered. This was not happening...it couldn't be, it was ridiculous. Merlin wasn't a father...he wasn't going to leave Arthur - but... he couldn't just walk out, not after all this, they needed to talk, he needed answers, he needed..._

_He needed Merlin to stay._

_"WAIT! Merlin, no...you_ can't _just walk out- this is insane.." Arthur wheeled round, panting, and walked back out the house, jumping quickly back down the steps and caught up with Merlin._

_"LISTEN TO ME!" Arthur screamed at Merlin's retreating figure. For a moment, he regretted yelling, thinking he'd gone too far...blown it - when Merlin stopped. He swiveled on the spot and fixed Arthur with those piercing blue eyes he knew too well._

_"Listen...to you?!" His voice was trembling. "Why should_ I _listen to YOU?! YOU'RE NOT EVEN LISTENING TO ME!" Merlin's face was contorted, twisted up in anger and it shot right through Arthur to see that look on his face, knowing he'd put it there._

_Arthur was tired. So tired. And the one person he thought could cheer him up, welcome him home at the end of a long day, had been lying to him. Hiding something from him, something that would change everything...and Arthur didn't want anything to change._

_"YOU COMPLETE... YOU- YOU CAN'T JUST LAND SOMETHING LIKE THAT ON SOMEONE AND JUST EXPECT THEM TO BE OKAY WITH IT!" he yelled across the street, veins throbbing wildly in his clenched fists, in his temple, and his head was spinning. He'd had enough. He cursed that stupid piece of paper, wishing he'd never picked it up, never noticed it lying there, abandoned, never gotten curious and nosed into Merlin's business that he_  clearly  _didn't want Arthur to know about._

 _He needed_ Merlin _right now, his Merlin, not this other women and her child, not Merlin the_ father _, not the Merlin who was hurling abuse at him outside of their house._ _And it hurt Arthur more than he could admit realising that it was being snatched away from him, right before his eyes._


	8. Chapter 8

_No. It can't be. No- it just can't…can it?_

_"Gwen!" you shout down the hallway, urgency rising fast in your voice. "Gwen, come quickly!"_

_She soon rushes through and comes to a stop in front of you, her brown eyes wide - then you hold up the paper. You watch her eyes widen even more when she sees what it is…_

_…a slightly blurry ultrasound photo; showing a very real, very alive, baby._

* * *

Gwen blinks.

"But- who…?" she stutters, staring at you, confused.

"Arthur!" you start. "I mean-  _Merlin_ …well...Arthur-  _Arthur_  gave this to me; he said to give it back to Merlin."

Gwen reaches out for the photo, her brown eyes silently asking for permission. You nod, brain numb and hand her the fateful photo. You still can't think straight…what is happening? Who – Merlin…? What?!

You stare expectantly at Gwen, searching for those unreachable answers. Your mind is blank…your train of thought keeps flying off in different branches, running out on you before you can…oh, before you can pin them down, turn them over, and make sense of them…

No. No, that can't be it…

…they keep trailing off in hundreds of directions, too many for you to follow each and every one and it's only now that you understand some of what Arthur was going through only a couple of hours ago.

Wait…

_Arthur._

Where is he?!

Your eyes refocus and you find yourself staring at an empty hallway. How did you get into this mess? Why didn't you just carry on walking…why did you have to stop and ask? Why did you have to give him a lift? Why did you have to come into the house?

_Why are you still here?!_

After a while you hear Gwen talking to Merlin in the living room, probably questioning him about the…about the  _baby._ The word still doesn't make sense inside your head, like someone had put a puzzle piece in the mix to confuse everyone because it didn't really fit in the puzzle at all-

You make up your mind and walk quietly down the hall.  _What are you doing?! Turn around. Leave!_

You have to find out more.

Okay. So there's a baby. But…whose?! It's obviously Merlin's photo but… it could be anyone's…it could be a relative. Yes, that's probably it. Merlin has a pregnant sister or something. Your mind flickers back to the argument… but then- why had Arthur got so angry? Why would he care so much that Merlin was carrying round an photo of an unborn child?

_"WHAT THE_ HELL _IS THIS?!"_

Maybe…maybe Merlin… _Merlin…_ is he the father? Could he be? How old is Merlin anyway?!

You hover awkwardly by the doorway as you watch Gwen talk to Merlin, his head once again resting in his hands. He looks wrung out, like he's gone through too much in such short space of time.

"Is it yours?" she asks softly, rubbing soothing circles on the raven-haired boy's back. So Gwen didn't know either, that was obvious. You listen closer, watching intently for Merlin's reaction.

"We're- we're not sure..." he mumbles into his palms. We? Who's the mother? Are they secretly together, or had they broken up...? Who was it? Gwen just sighs at Merlin, watching him sadly as he wrings his hands, twisting them in his lap. So...so it  _is_ Merlin's. At least, they think it is...for now.

Why did Arthur react so badly? What is it to him that Merlin...that he had...surely… _surely_  he would be pleased for Merlin. His best friend; a  _father_. Starting a family of his own. But the look on his face, the blind  _anger_ in his words, in his expression, like Merlin had betrayed him...maybe it might turn out to be a..a one night stand or something, but somehow you can't picture that. Not Merlin. Maybe that's why-  _yes, yes that's it..._ Arthur knows, he  _knows..._ that whatever Merlin's relationship is with this women, it isn't a one off, it isn't like Merlin to just meet a girl and impregnate her in one night... so they must have been serious. It must have been going on for a while. And all this time, Arthur had been in the dark.

It finally sinks in what Arthur must have felt, finding that picture, discovering Merlin's secret. You put yourself in his position, imagining stumbling across this...this...mind-blowing piece of evidence, clear as day, a photo in your hands - and having it rearrange your entire view point of the people you held most dear. Shattering everything completely, that old cliche: turning your whole world upside down. But it is. It tipped Arthur, submerged him... and now he's drowning.

"Sorry, can I help you?"

You blink, coming violently out of your train of thought and focusing back on the scene in font of you, realising with a jolt that both Merlin and Gwen are staring you intently; Gwen's brown eyes soft with touches of sympathy, Merlin's blue ones bleary with confusion. It was Merlin that spoke.

"Er..." you start, unsure how to explain why you're hovering in the doorway listening in to the aftermath of a crisis which, you remind yourself,  _has nothing to do with you_.

"I'm a friend of Arthur's? I drove him here...he sort of filled me in on this whole..." How should you put it...? Fiasco? Argument? Disaster? Existential crisis? "This whole...situation." you finish lamely. "I'm so sorry." Merlin nods at you, numbly, as if on automatic, and hardly seems to care that a random stranger has been trailing along this entire time, seeing him at their lowest, watching him cry. You step forward into the room, and feeling the unspoken invitation to do so, you perch down on the opposite couch, half smiling at the pair sadly. There's nothing you can do, really. Not now.

"Who...whose is it?" Gwen murmurs gently. She's so much better at this than you would be, if you were in her shoes...Gwen has that kind of personality, that kind of face; she's one of the rare people who actually know what to do and say in these situations, and manages not to muck things up any more. It's a special gift.

Merlin just groans at Gwen's words and leans back against the sofa, eyes clamped tightly shut and frowning. "You'll hate me." he mutters. Gwen reaches out her hand and clasps it round his wrist, stroking his pale skin softly.

"No, I won't. Just...when you're ready."

He breathes heavily through his nose and opens his eyes.

"Freya's." he mumbles, then turns his gaze onto Gwen, blue eyes tired and heavy. "It's Freya's."

Gwen lets out a long, tired sigh; the name must mean something to her, someone she knows, someone she might even be friends with. She held on tighter to Merlin's wrist, moving her hand down to lace her fingers through Merlin's long, pale ones, squeezing tightly. She doesn't need to say anything this time, her silence tells Merlin enough, gives him enough to comfort him and persuade him to continue.

"It wasn't supposed to happen." Merlin starts, with the air of someone who has explain the same story over and over way too many times. And you know how true that is. "I didn't even know- we didn't...Arthur, I- well.." Merlin stammered, blue eyes flickering all over the place, not seeming to be able to settle on one spot. Gwen clenches their entwined hands and cocks her head forward to catch Merlin's gaze.

"Merlin. Merlin...look at me.  _It's okay_. You can do this," she reassures, smiling at him gently, brown eyes soft and kind. Merlin seems to set things straight again in his mind, and shifts forward onto the edge of the sofa, twisting round to face Gwen, eyes wide.

"You...you remember that time when you and- and... _Arthur_..." Merlin struggles slightly on the name, as if it took physical effort to force the syllables from his lips. "You... and Arthur. And when I found out that, when I saw you with- with  _him..._  I didn't- I couldn't..."

Merlin takes a deep breath and tries again, not able to look at Gwen anymore and settles for a spot on the coffee table in front of them. "I didn't realise. What... _that_  would...how it would- effect me. When I saw you..."

"Merlin."

"I- I didn't...I didn't think - I couldn't think...I was confused, i-it  _hurt..._ I couldn't stay. So, I...I went to see Freya." Merlin's lip is trembling now, hands shaking again like Arthur's did when he cried. The puzzle pieces are starting to fit together, groups of them, separate from each other...and you realise that there are still a few major pieces that Arthur and Merlin are yet to discover.

"It turned out Hal...she told me, Hal had just broken up with her...she was crying...we didn't- we talked, drank, oh God, I drank so much...too much, Gwen, I- I'm so sorry..."

"Merlin-"

"We were both hurting, I didn't even understand  _why..._ it just...seeing you both there, it...it, broke something, I snapped...I couldn't- I didn't  _think,_ I didn't want to think, I just got out. And then Freya...you know how things used to be with- with us, we both needed someone...and- God, I was so  _stupid_! We didn't talk about it, I j-just left...I came back home, carried on like normal. It didn't mean anything, not- not when...when I- I... _Arthur_ -" Merlin breaks off with a small cry, and collapses into Gwen as she pulls him into her arms, murmuring sweet nothings into his ear, hands going back to rubbing up and down his back. _  
_

"Oh, Merlin..."

"And, and now- he...he can barely look at me, like  _I_ hurt  _him_  and I- oh, God. It's so fucked up, Gwen, I can't- Freya's pregnant...the DNA results are due tomorrow, that's when I was going to- to tell you, but I knew Arthur would..." he sobs, voice slightly muffled by the way he angles his head into Gwen's shoulder. She glances at you over his shoulder, eyes swimming with her own tears, as she repeats "I know...I know..." underneath Merlin's ramblings. She squeezes him even tighter, rocking him slightly where they sat perched on the sofa - then pulling back, you watch sadly as she wipes away a few tears from Merlin's pale face.

"What am I going to do Gwen? What- what if it's mine? When..w-when I told Arthur...oh God, Gwen, his face...I never- I never...wanted to hurt him, I-" Merlin doesn't seem to know what he's saying any longer, simply pulling more and more phrases from the depths of his mind, desperate to justify what he did, to explain...

"I know, Merlin..."

"-and I was going to tell him, I  _was..._ but I didn't even know for sure myself, you know? I hadn't spoken to her for ages...not since...then - and he...the way he  _acted_ , Gwen, oh...why didn't he EVER say anything? I've...for so long, I've never told...I didn't think he...that he-"

"Merlin! Listen to me," Gwen interrupts, gently gripping his chin with dark, slender fingers, forcing him to look at her. " _I know_. That thing you're not quite telling me? I  _know._ " His eyebrows knit together slightly in confusion, thoughts clearly still all over the place, before those stunning blue eyes slowly widen as her words sink in.

"But, I-"

"No, Merlin. It's okay. Listen... _i_ _t's okay._ " Gwen interjects again, staring intensely back at Merlin, making sure that her words hit home. You wonder how one person can contain that much good advice, well thought-out words and such an ability to string together the perfect sentences. Merlin's lucky to have Gwen, to reassure him, comfort him; but after all Merlin has revealed, you realise, confirming your previous suspicions, that Gwen isn't the one Merlin needs the most right now.

That's when the silence, after being gone for a while, returns to the room - only punctuated on occasions as Merlin continues to cry steadily into Gwen's sodden shoulder, his own thin frame heaving with each sob. And then, sudden, unexpected, cutting through the quiet and the sound of Merlin's breath catching in his throat - the shrill doorbell sounds.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lyrics are from this awesome song "Drifting" by The Paper Kites

**you don't need to know**

**where you are or where you're going**

**you just can't know**

**there's no way of showing if we**

**ended up where we planned**

* * *

Merlin stops crying with a gasp, a short in-take of breath as the sound of the bell echos through the house. Your head snaps up at the noise, and so does Gwen's - you jump to your feet, wide eyes staring round at Gwen intensely. It could be anyone, it could be anyone, it could be anyone...

It could be Arthur.

"Should I...?" you ask hesitantly, gesturing towards the hallway with a slight tilt of your head. Gwen just gapes back at you blankly, her own brown eyes startled. You flick your gaze from her, back to Merlin who is still sitting perched on the edge of the sofa, eyes bloodshot, face salty from dried tars - then you turn quickly and make your way back to the front door. God, if it's Arthur again...the guy sure has great timing. Approaching the door, you can make out a slight silhouette behind the window, a sharp profile of a man - and as you reach out to grasp the door handle, you know it's Arthur. Who else would it be?

"What do you want, Arthur," you say, monotone, opening the door slightly but not looking at the man in front of you. He doesn't speak at first, and you watch his fingers tremble as he wrings his hands. You glance up at him then, your own eyes meeting darker blue, and you can see the tiredness there. And the regret.

He smiles slightly at you. "To...come in?" he asks, almost cheekily. Then he frowns, dark blue eyes solemn again. "Right. I'm... sick of talking things through. I'm sick of thinking things over...I'm sick of- I don't know." He steps forward forcefully, hand reaching out to push the door open. "All I know...is that I want to see- no...I want to  _be_  with Merlin right now."

He stares at you expectantly, half in and out the door. "Please," he adds and you think quietly to yourself. It can't do any harm now; you doubt that's even possible. And Arthur doesn't look like he wants to talk, like he said...he simply looks drained, physically exhausted, and you're not surprised. Feeling sympathetic, you step back and let Arthur through.

"He's down the end," you state blankly as Arthur passes you, then you close the door with a click and follow him back into the living room. They're going to end up talking even so, you know it.

* * *

"I thought I'd figured it all out."

Merlin stares up at Arthur where he stands awkwardly in the doorway. He looks so young, you think, face thin with pallor and startling blue eyes wide and glassy. He doesn't respond to Arthur's words, not welcoming, just patient. Silent, waiting. You glance at Gwen, who is observing the scene unraveling in front of her with wary eyes.

Arthur's struggling, you can tell. He steps forward, hesitant, and then seems to gather some courage and walks swiftly over to Merlin, perching down beside him on the sofa.

"It's not much, Merlin, but this is what I've got." He looks straight at the side of Merlin's face, who hasn't turned to face Arthur, and continues, his voice slightly stronger now. "I don't hate you, I don't. I don't want to leave, but I will if you...if you ask me to move out, I'll understand - Merlin, listen..." Arthur's hand twitches, and begins to reach out to Merlin's own where they rest on his knees. He swallows and finally places his shaking hand on top of Merlin's pale fingers, a small touch that causes Merlin to pull out of his trance and snap his head round to look straight at Arthur. His mouth is slightly open in an inaudible gasp.

"And most of all...Merlin - I'm, I'm so sorry for shouting at you, for saying all those things, I didn't mean them," Arthur's much calmer now, so different to Merlin in the way he handles his feelings. You think back to when Merlin was revealing everything to Gwen; his broken words, stuttered sentences, trains of thought that went in circles and crossed over in intricate and confusing patterns. But not Arthur, who likes things straight, logical, has to get his words sorted in a order before saying them, unlike Merlin, whose words spill over his lips without second thoughts. Arthur likes control, you noticed. Which explains why he reacted so badly to that new, terrifying piece of information, messing up his plans, the way things were sorted neatly in his head. It makes sense now, you think.

"I understand why you did it, Merlin." Arthur speaks softly, and you wonder if he realises the way his fingers start to clench tightly round Merlin's hand, veins and tendons rippling under the tanned skin. "You don't need to blame yourself, I understand, I get it-"

"No. No you  _don't_." Merlin interrupts, jerking his hand out from under Arthur's grasp. You can see the hurt reflect for a second in Arthur's eyes before he sinks back behind his blank facade. "You clearly  _don't_ , not even now, not even after all of this - you're so  _blind,_ Arthur, you- I don't know how...you still don't know... Why do you think-" Merlin springs up off the sofa, suddenly, and glares down at Arthur, tears starting to form once again. "Why do you think that when I saw...when I saw you, and Gwen, that I ran off to the last person who had- who...me...in  _that_  way...and- why do you think I couldn't bare to be around when you two...did you think- you thought it was  _Gwen_  didn't you?!"

"Merlin.." Gwen interjects, and you know what she's trying to say. A confused look starts to creep onto Arthur's features, his dark blond eyebrows knitting together. Penny in the air...

"You did! But it wasn't..it wasn't  _her_  Arthur, oh god...it didn't even cross your mind, did it?!  _Did it?!_ Not even after all those times I could have gone out with Will, or...or when, oh for god sake - the whole reason me and Freya broke up in the first place! Why do you think that was, Arthur?! 'Cause I don't know what else to do, how to- tell you, I-" Merlin breaks off, panting slightly and his eyes slowly grow wider as he realises what he said. "Oh, god..." He brings up his hands to his face, fingers running through his dark hair. You glance quickly at Arthur, taking in his shocked expression and you can almost see the cogs whirring in his mind as the pieces fall together. Penny falling...

"Ohh." Arthur stands up, and steps forward to close the gap between him and Merlin.  _There we go_. "Ohh  _god,_  I never..." He stutters, staring at Merlin blankly.

"'Course you didn't," Merlin mutters. He absent mindedly picks at his fingers, and you spot as Arthur's gaze latches on to the movement and how it seems to irritate him.

"But, I do, Merlin...listen," Arthur's hand twitches again, then he closes it around Merlin's forearm, gentler than he first intends. "I didn't realise that  _you_ \- I mean, I'd  _hoped..._ " He slides his hand down Merlin's arm, and hesitantly laces his fingers between long, pale long ones, holding their entwined hands between them both. Merlin tears his gaze off the ground, staring at Arthur intensely - blue meeting blue. "I never knew. God, Merlin, if I'd known...you  _know_  I would have said something. I  _swear_." Arthur squeezes Merlin's hand in his grasp, thumb subconsciously running back and forth across Merlin's knuckles, tracing the bone.

_Finally_ , you think. You catch Gwen's eye and manage a small smile through your own exhaustion, one she returns just as difficultly.

"Arthur..." Merlin looks noticeably more relaxed, a huge tension lifted from his shoulders, from his features, and he lets out a heavy sigh, loud in the otherwise silent room. His eyes however, remain worried, glossy with tears yet to fall from his dark eyelashes. "But... what- what am I going to do? With...with- Freya?" Merlin's voice is small, and you can sense the numbing guilt he still feels for his actions; actions that inevitably led them both here, caused this mess, but you know he shouldn't. He just needs Arthur to tell him that, before he believes it.

Arthur's own eyes clamp shut at Merlin's words, as if they cause him physical pain - which in a way, is probably true. When he opens them again, the blue is serious, dark...and searching deep into Merlin's own. "I don't know," he admits, and this time it's Merlin's turn to break eye contact, his head dropping down, eyes screwed up tight. Arthur's calm facade breaks again at the sight of Merlin, and he inches forward a little more, drawing small, soothing circles onto the back of Merlin's hand with his thumb. He lifts their entwined hands up into the foot of space between them, holding Merlin's one hand in both of his. You watch, curious, as Arthur draws his close attention to the patterns he seems to find on Merlin's palm, tracing each and every one he discovers with his fingertips. Down each slender finger, across the scores and creases in his palm, the colourful veins in his wrist; Arthur turned Merlin's palm over and over with such care in his own hands, and Merlin let out a small gasp, fresh tears leaking down from his lids.

"I don't know what will happen, Merlin," Arthur continues, still with that soft, calming voice - and it seems that the both of them had forgotten about your and Gwen's presence in the room with them. Across the space, you catch Gwen's brown eyes once again, and make a silent agreement not to break the moment between the two men.

"I don't know what you want to happen, or whether you'll be happy, or what you'll decide to do - god, I don't even know what I want, really...but Merlin," Arthur reaches his fingers up from Merlin's caressed hand to tilt Merlin's chin up towards him, forcing him to look straight at the blonde. "Merlin, just - just make sure you're happy, with whatever you choose." He uses the pad of his slightly rough, calloused thumb to carefully wipe away a tear from Merlin's cheekbone, then snaps his hand back suddenly - as if realising what he'd been doing. He lifts his gaze back into Merlin's blue eyes, which were wide, almost in disbelief.

"And I promise to be okay with whatever that choice is."

A small sob escapes Merlin's lips, and Arthur hesitates for a moment before cupping his hand around Merlin's jaw line, tilting his head to gently rest their forehead's together. Merlin's eyes close once again, features settling in a slight frown, and Arthur seems to make a decision; he unhooks his hands from Merlin's fingers and folds the boy into himself, arms wrapping tightly around his thin frame, tucking his face into Merlin's pale neck, breathing him in. You smile at them both, watching as Merlin sinks into Arthur's embrace and a laugh bubbles over his lips under the fresh tears streaming down his pale face.

"Will you come with me?" You only just make out Merlin's words as he murmurs them into Arthur's shoulder.

"With you?" Arthur replies, hints of confusion in his croaky voice. He sounds tired. Relieved. Mentally preparing himself for the things to come.

"To- to the hospital, tomorrow. For the DNA results."

"Ohh..of- of course."

You lose track of how long they stay like that, swaying slightly in each others arms.


	10. Chapter 10

It's cold. The room's bland, the chairs a murky shade of green, uncomfortable, wooden. And it stinks of that disinfectant, seeming to soak through into his skin, making him certain he'll still be able to smell it three days and many showers later. The speckled walls are endless, carrying on further and further down the hallway, and Arthur tricks himself every time into getting his hopes up when one of those nameless, faceless people in blue scrubs pass through the waiting room but it's never the right one. He's lost track of how long they've been sitting there, staring at the same health posters warning him how fast bacterial infections will spread if he doesn't remember to wash his hands, and reminding him to check for testicular cancer this month. Merlin isn't doing any better, Arthur can tell - he's gone back to wringing his hands where he sits nervously next to Arthur. Today is an important day for the both of them.

"So," he says out loud into the empty space. Merlin doesn't respond, not that he expects him to. "This is it, huh." Before he's even finished speaking, Arthur cringes at his poor choice of words, wondering if he could have said anything more cliched or cheesy. He thinks Merlin might at least make a stupid comment about what Arthur had said, but he remains silent. Arthur decides to do the same.

He can understand Merlin's silence; after last night, Arthur isn't sure exactly what was said in the end, whether he'd given everything away or not...whether either of them had realised what they'd been saying. He feels like he missed something massively important, but Merlin often ends up talking in riddles and never quite finishing his thoughts, always leaving Arthur with half of the story. Merlin never seems to realise that some of the thoughts that are obvious to him, aren't to the rest of them, and when he ends up starting a new sentence in the middle of the last one, he assumes everyone else understands where it was leading. He isn't sure where he stood with Merlin at that moment, and that isn't even beginning to take the  _baby_  into account. Merlin's probably still trying to work out his own thoughts, god knows Arthur still is. He doesn't even know what he wants to happen today.

Thinking logically.  _Right_. So, if Merlin  _is_  a father - what will happen? Will he move out, let Arthur keep the house...or politely ask him to leave so Freya can move in, baby and- and everything? Sure, he has a fair amount of money now, business is doing well - but the thought of not living with Merlin anymore felt like a punch in the gut, or- or someone tipping a bucket of ice cold water down on top of him. He...can't. He won't be able to bare it. It wouldn't be right, like living without one of his arms. Somehow, without him realising, Merlin has become a vital part of his life - and visualizing the possibility that he might end up not as close to Merlin as much as he's used to, is a thought he doesn't want to spend long thinking about.

Okay, so Arthur won't let Merlin leave. What about the baby? Once the kid is born, surely Merlin will want to...want to have some sort of custody, or something...Arthur doesn't really know how things like that work - he doesn't even know how long Freya's into her pregnancy, Merlin didn't say-

Wait...well. If- if Merlin had stayed the night at Freya's...Arthur's stomach turns over as it always does at that certain piece of information... because he,  _Arthur,_ had got together with Gwen, which is - what, like half a year ago now? So that meant Freya will be at about...well, 24, 26 weeks or so. Thereabouts. Arthur doesn't know much about babies. Or pregnancies. Or anything about these kind of things for that matter. On top of everything, Arthur feels sorry for Merlin, that all this stuff is what he'll have to look forward to in a few months. He'll stand by him though, be there for him - despite all Merlin's ridiculous anxiety about Arthur upping and leaving as soon as he heard the news, Arthur will be doing nothing of the sort. It's going to take a while for Merlin to really believe him, but that's just how he is - frustratingly stubborn, always picking arguments,  _forever_  having a go at Arthur for finishing the milk without telling him and leaving his paperwork all over Merlin's coffee table and a hundred other things that don't matter. God, he'll miss Merlin if he leaves.

Well, it might not even be Merlin's. Merlin's might not be the father. He might be, but...he might not. He  _might not._  He might not...he might not...he might not...

...he  _might_  be...

"Merlin," Arthur tries another attempt at conversation, doubting whether Merlin will even hear him over his own thoughts.

"Hmmm..." That's all he gets. Typical Merlin, he thinks; any other time, he can't shut up, but the one moment there's something important to discuss, he'll be too focused on thinking about it to actually  _use his words_ _._ Arthur gets how he feels, he's been there himself - so much more recently. It gets to a point where you start to feel claustrophobic inside your own head; and there's been many a time when Arthur's had to save Merlin from the quicksand of himself.

Even so, it's enough of a response to go on.

"Tell me honestly," Arthur continues. "What do you think's going to happen today?"

He hears a small intake of breath beside him, but Merlin doesn't say anything. The space sounds even quieter without the steady in and out noise of Merlin's breathing next to his ears, and there's no doubt that he heard him, and is putting serious thought into his answer. He can't decide what's worse; Merlin torturing his mind even more as he struggles to answer Arthur's question, or simply giving a non-committal, emotionless shrug or a 'dunno' that doesn't give Arthur anything.

Merlin's probably doing some weighing up of his own. Arthur could just imagine it; what will be worse - Merlin being the father, and having to take on all that responsibility that he isn't ready for, or expected, with a woman who he isn't with and hasn't talked to for just under a year...or not being the father. What are the cons of that again? Merlin probably has his own list, containing loads of complicated sentimental, ethical issues and problems that haven't even  _occurred_  to Arthur. Merlin still hasn't said anything, and Arthur starts resigning himself to the silence _when-_

"I'm only sure of a few things,"

Merlin's voice is quiet, but still seems to resonate loud enough in the empty hallway and in the pink shells of Arthur's ears. He doesn't reply, he knows now that Merlin's started he needs no encouragement to finish. He's got the push he needed to open up, finally, to stop thinking things over and admit to some of the thoughts he's straightened out in his head.

"I don't really care what it says in that stupid envelope." Arthur wasn't expecting that. He snaps his head round and looks straight at his best friend, studying his sharp profile as he continues talking, still staring at the pale wall opposite them. "I don't. Well, I  _do_ , obviously, I have to...a little, but I don't think that's the most important thing here anymore." Merlin still manages to keep his voice steady, fairly calm, hardly stuttering or breaking off mid-sentence. Arthur knows that's due to the long time he gave Merlin to think over his reply before he spoke, getting a few sentences down in the right order before jumping straight into the question. People don't think in sentences, it's more like a flow chart of different ideas, different feelings, and sometimes there's not even a word to do justice to some of those feelings which makes constructing a coherent sentence out of that mess frustratingly difficult. Arthur knows Merlin's always struggled with this, how he never wants to say anything if it's not exactly what he meant, or if it doesn't come out right. So, Arthur gives him time.

"If I  _am_ the father, then...then me and Freya will work something out. I might have to stay with her for a while, I don't know how comfortable she'll be with living on her own with a child...she could even move in with us...for a while, I suppose - we have room. But I'm not kicking you out, Arthur, I wouldn't. Not ever." Merlin looks at him then, blue eyes seeming brighter than Arthur's seen them in the last 24 hours. He can't help his mouth curling up at the edges at the sight of Merlin, and he mouths  _I know_  back at him, not wanting to break his train of thought now he's started. It's such a cliche, but it's there, Arthur feels it, that sudden clench in his gut, the same one every romance novel he's ever read told him about. It twists in his chest, and the unexpectedness of it has the power to knock the breath out of him, almost as much as the man sitting in front of him does. Damnit, he's screwed. _  
_

"I don't know about money, and babysitting...I know we don't have much in the ways of family, but that doesn't matter...we have Gwen, and Lance, and 'Gana, and you... Arthur, I _do_  have you, right?" Merlin's voice is steady, but starts to falter at the end, as if he isn't sure where he stands with Arthur anymore - and that's all he needs to know. Arthur lets out a long breath, and it sinks in what Merlin meant to start with - and Merlin's right, as he often is. It doesn't matter what the result is today, and now he understands why.

"'Course you do, you idiot." Arthur mutters, dark blue eyes never leaving Merlin's lighter ones, watching curiously as the edges start to crinkle up at Arthur's words, and the full effect of Merlin's smile in this close proximity to Arthur leaves him breathless. Merlin isn't going anywhere; baby or no baby.

Suddenly, Merlin's phone goes off in the depths of his jacket, and the fuzzy moment between them that's leaving prickly feelings over Arthur's chest just- breaks. Merlin practically jumps in his seat and scrambles to retrieve his mobile out of his pocket and within a second he's out of his chair and pacing with his phone in hand.

"Who is it?" Arthur half-mouths, half-whispers up at Merlin, not sure to take his wide eyes as a bad sign or simply a side effect from the stressful day he's had.

"Freya," Merlin mouths back after checking the caller ID, and presses a button on the screen to answer the call. Arthur looks up anxiously, sheer nerves keeping him on the edge of the seat. Freya was meant to meet them here, so they can all receive the news together...and Arthur had been too engrossed in unpicking Merlin's thoughts to notice that she hadn't arrived yet.

"No, it's okay..." Merlin speaks calmly down the phone, eyes still fixed on Arthur. "So... you can't make it? Oh- oh, right..." Freya isn't coming. Well, that minimises some of the awkwardness for today, which is a plus.

"Uh-huh..." Merlin continues. "Yeah, yeah...no, that's okay, we haven't actually got the results yet, we're still waiting - but I'll call you as soon as I know. Yeah, yes I will...don't worry...wait, what?!" Merlin's eyes slowly widen, staring down at Arthur like he's never studied him properly before. "Yeah...y-yeah, he's with me. I asked him to come." Oh. "No, no I haven't tol- no, he doesn't...okay, okay- alright! Alright, I'm getting there...yeah. I promise." Merlin brings the phone down from his ear and hangs up, staring at it for a while, flipping it round in his hands and tapping it against his palms. Arthur stands up, stepping forward to face Merlin, and places a hesitant hand over Merlin's wrist. Their eyes both latch on to each other's and it knocks the breath out of Arthur, forgetting for a moment what he had planned to say.

"Merlin," he starts, finding it hard to concentrate when he can just about feel Merlin's warm breath caressing the air over his nose. "I don't care either.  _I don't care_. I'm not leaving, whatever happens today. I should have told you this  _ages_  ago, in fact, like a year ago - that would have stopped any of this happening - but, Merlin, I-"

"Mr. Emrys?"

An uncertain voice cuts through the moment, shattering Arthur's train of thought apart and he almost jumps back away from Merlin. A small woman in light blue scrubs is standing tentatively a few meters away from them, clearly under the impression she's interrupting something, going from the slight blush forming on her cheeks. Arthur wonders about that;  _had_ she interrupted something? Is  _this_  a 'something' now?

"Er, we - we have your DNA results here." she says firmly, holding out a small, but long white envelope. Arthur notices Merlin shudder slightly at the sight of it beside him, and he rushes forward to take it from the woman's grasp. "Sorry for the wait. Is the mother here?" she asks politely. Arthur finds himself too transfixed by the envelope and forgets to reply for a second.

"Oh- oh, no that's okay - and no, she couldn't make it," he replies thickly, throat suddenly choking up, and it's only now that he realises Merlin hadn't mentioned why Freya can't come. Arthur waits a second, allowing for the nurse to walk back down the hallway leaving him and Merlin alone in the waiting room, as he turns the white rectangle round and round in his long fingers. He glances up and notices Merlin's startling blues still on him, wide and nervous.

"Ready?" he murmurs, hardly needing to raise his voice above a whisper with Merlin this close.

Merlin takes a moment before answering, and Arthur watches as he squares his jaw, settling his gaze on the envelope in front of them. "Ready." he whispers, and Arthur nods slightly, then slits his thumb along under the flap of the envelope.


	11. Chapter 11

The sound of the ripping paper cuts through the open space in front of them. Arthur fingers start to shake, but he relaxes a little when the warmth of Merlin's hand rests down on his own, and he glances up at Merlin again. How is it fair to have eyes like  _that_ , so blue, understanding, seeing right through Arthur despite all he does to shove his feelings far into the dark corners of his mind.

"I- I can't do it, you'll have to.." Merlin mutters, squeezing tight on Arthur's hand. This is it. But it doesn't matter, Arthur thinks to himself as he starts to shuffle the crisp folded paper out of it's envelope. It doesn't matter, things won't be  _that_ much different, Merlin  _told_  him, it's all going to be fine...sure, it'll be more complicated, but _it'll be okay._ Arthur tries desperately to reassure himself - but he still can't shake the terrifying feeling that, whatever is in that envelope is going to take Merlin away from him.  _No,_ he thinks. It doesn't matter. It  _doesn't_.

Arthur grits his teeth, unfolds the paper and looks down at the results, eyes scamming the page frantically for the one word that will decide a certain amount of their future.

"Well? Oh, god...it's- it's me, isn't it?! Arthur? Is it me?" Merlin stammers, finger nails digging into the back of Arthur's hand more and more with Arthur's continued silence. His eyes carry on searching the page desperately, trying to make sense of the table of endless numbers but no certain sentences jumping out and grabbing his attention. God, why does it have to look so complicated? He doesn't care about the science behind it all, couldn't the paper just read in, big, black, capital letters 'YOU'RE THE FATHER, DUMBASS' instead - that would have been easier. Arthur drops his eyes down the small paragraph under the table and finally something catches his gaze and seems to be the answer they've been waiting for.

"Hold on- I think...'the alleged father...' - yes, yes this is it, Merlin, listen-" Arthur raises his voice over Merlin's nonsensical rambling and starts to read out from the paper. "'The alleged father, Merlin Emrys, cannot be excluded as the biological father of the unborn child. B-based on..." Arthur's voice begins to crack, and its only when Merlin brings his other hand up to clasp tightly around Arthur's arm that he manages to summon the strength to continue.

"'Based on the genetic testing results,'" Arthur reads on. "'The probability of paternity- is 99.99%...when compared to an untested random man of the English population...' Merlin-" Arthur tears his blue eyes away from the paper and feels the entire world around grind to a halt as he latches on to Merlin's gaze. He can barely make sense of what he's just read out, and his brain is no nearer to deciphering the complicated numbers and results when Merlin is  _looking at him like that_.

"Merlin..." Arthur hears himself say, voice still croaky, hands still holding tight onto Merlin's own, and he realises with a jolt that he can feel Merlin shaking too. "I- I don't know what that means, I can't think.."

Merlin gulps and reaches carefully for the paper, and Arthur regains the ability to breathe when Merlin finally breaks his intense gaze, focusing it down on the words in front of him instead. Arthur's head swirls, and he has the sudden urge to sit down - he doesn't think his weak knees can cope with being this close to Merlin and receiving life-alerting news in the same moment. He struggles with the information he's just taken in, waiting for his brain to catch up now that Merlin's brilliant blue eyes aren't zeroing in on him, eyes that definitely don't make Arthur's gut clench.  _The alleged father...99.99%...cannot be excluded...probability of paternity..._ what did it all mean?

"What-" Arthur finds himself barely able to ask. He stares back at Merlin, watching the thin shadows his long eyelashes cast drape over his cheekbones, which twitch slightly as Merlin's eyes scan the page. "What does it mean?" he manages to whisper out, a ghost of a breath passing over his lips and into the small space between them. Merlin flicks his gaze back up to Arthur, and the bland, boring corridor seems to fall away around them, and all Arthur can see is Merlin's face; two blue eyes staring back at him, pale skin almost luminous in the light, black hair curling round his ears, and  _god_ , Merlin is  _beautiful._  And Arthur is completely screwed. Merlin doesn't say anything at first, mouth slightly open and he just continues to reduce Arthur's entire world to fuzzy molecules in his peripheral vision simply by looking at Arthur like that. Finally, he speaks.

"It means," he murmurs, still holding Arthur's gaze. "I  _am_  the father."

* * *

_Fuck._ Arthur's speechless. He can feel his heart pounding against his chest, in his ears, and it feels he's just plunged head first into cold water yet the startling blue of Merlin's eyes are the only things that are cutting through the blur. He blinks, clenching his fingers around something warm, and firm - then realising a few seconds later that it's Merlin's arm. The corridor comes back into focus, green plastic chairs and health posters, and he clutches tighter onto Merlin, the only real thing he could latch on to.

"Arthur," he hears Merlin mutter. "Arthur, say something..." It sends a piercing stab of something searing through Arthur's chest hearing the way Merlin's voice starts to break off, and he struggles to form a sentence, he needs to tell Merlin it's okay,  _it's okay,_  it's not as screwed up as he thinks it is, he doesn't need to worry anymore, he'll be there for him, he'll be there for him as much as he can but it's all Arthur can do to keep standing upright, so he just holds on tighter to Merlin. He coughs, and after realising his eyes are screwed tight he opens them blearily, then blinks and focuses his gaze back on Merlin, who seems much closer than he remembers. He takes in Merlin's face, stricken with worry, stunning eyes swimming and Arthur's bringing his hand up to cup Merlin's jaw gently before he realises it. He watches with curiosity as his own thumb strokes back and forth across Merlin's pale skin, amazed by how soft it feels under his calloused thumb and the way Merlin's eyes close and lean into his touch.

"Merlin..." Arthur murmurs, not sure what he's going to say but knowing he has to assure Merlin, assure himself, fix everything. He has to fix everything for Merlin, he has to; Arthur can't think of anyone that deserves it more. "Merlin, it's okay, you're okay, we're going to be okay..." Arthur leans his head forward to rest on Merlin's own, calming himself down listening to Merlin's steadying breaths, the feel of his chest rising and falling in front of him, while his fingers curl round Merlin's ears, playing with the tufts of raven hair he finds there. He jumps a little when he hears a small, shaky laugh bursting over Merlin's lips, and he pulls back to look Merlin straight in his eyes.

"I-I'm a father...!" Merlin whispers, voice increasing in pitch slightly, eyes lighting up as he stares back at the blond. Arthur feels the weight cascade off his shoulders, and a huge smile breaks out over his face. Merlin's happiness is infectious, and Arthur can't think of a more amazing sight. He inches forward even more, bringing his other hand up to rest on the opposite side of Merlin's face, his forearms pressed against Merlin's chest, and he whispers back Merlin's own words.

"You're a father." his voice chimes back, not knowing whether to laugh or cry, neither which sound particularly manly at the moment - so Arthur settles for simply soaking up Merlin, the feel of him under his fingers, the warm breath on his face, and that's when Arthur knows everything will be okay. It can't possibly  _not_  be, not when Merlin's here in front of him, solid and real and  _finally._ Arthur lets his thumbs trace around the crinkles by Merlin's eyes, drawing invisible patterns along his jawline and down those impossible cheekbones. Oh,  _what the hell._ He tilts Merlin's head down very gently, pressing a small but firm kiss to his forehead, hearing Merlin emit a tiny gasp as he did so. And when he locks eyes with Merlin once again, they seem somehow that little bit brighter.

"What are we going to do with you," Arthur mutters, smiling when he notices Merlin sliding his skinny arms round his waist, keeping him there. Not that Arthur's planning on going anywhere any time soon. Merlin's chuckle brushes into Arthur's neck as he rests his head fully on Arthur's shoulder, lips tickling the tanned skin as he spoke.

"I honestly have no clue. Oh god, Arthur...what am  _I_ going to do with a  _baby_?" Merlin mumbled. Arthur feels his laugh vibrate through their embrace into Merlin's own body, and he wonders to himself if he'll ever want to be anything less than this close to Merlin after this. He stokes the hair at the back of Merlin's neck, relishing in the way he could feel Merlin shuddering at the small touch.

"I think you'll be just fine."

It's Merlin who pulls back slightly this time, fixing Arthur with one of his classic x-ray, piercing stares and Arthur suddenly feels so very exposed, which is insane, he reminds himself - this is Merlin. There's no one he trusts more, no one who's this much of an idiot yet still the wisest person he knows, no one else with those ridiculous ears, no one else who has that exact colour of iris, and Arthur doesn't think any colour will seem good enough anymore. Arthur forgets to breathe again when he notices Merlin's gaze flick down to Arthur's lips- it's a minuscule movement, but Arthur can't  _not_ notice it. His heart starts to thump even louder in his chest, and oh my god, this is  _Merlin_ , and Arthur doesn't quite know what's happening but it hardly matters when Merlin's leaning in and-

"Oh  _crap_!"  _Fuck_. Merlin jumps out of the tight embrace, leaving Arthur's arms feeling immediately empty and rather pointless now - to pull his mobile out of his pocket again. "I need to call Freya! I promised I'd call her as soon as we knew...hold on-" Arthur watches with a slight sinking feeling as Merlin fumbles to dial the right number, but he lets him, resorting to an old tactic of his; silently cursing Freya inside his head. But still, he can't stop smiling.

"Hey, Freya! Oh, god- calm down, woman...let me speak! Aha, well..." Merlin glances back at Arthur again, grin still plastered over his face, which certainly does _not_  do strange things to Arthur's stomach. "Well, I just have to say it, don't I...I-I'm the father, Freya," he spoke firmly down the phone, eyes crinkling as he smiles at Arthur. They're going to be okay.

"I've got  _no_  idea, that's what I told Arthur..."

Arthur steps closer back to Merlin, reaching out to hold gently onto those long, pale fingers.

"Yeah, yeah...but if I drop the poor thing, I'm not saying I didn't warn you."

He hesitantly invades Merlin's personal space completely, smiling as he notices the piece of paper and it's envelope where they lay abandoned on the floor.

"Hey, hey- don't worry." Merlin brings other hand up to rest on the side of Arthur's face and smirks as he quotes Arthur's words down the phone to Freya. "I think you'll be just fine."


	12. Chapter 12

You next saw them up ahead of you on the street corner.

Huh. That's ironic, you think. But at least they're not arguing this time round.

"No, it's  _my_  turn, you got to push him yesterday!"

"You're such a child! Are you sure you're not meant to be the one in the pram, Merlin?"

Well. Spoke too soon. You can't help but smile across the street at them, almost wrestling with a navy blue push chair between them. Ohh...my  _god,_ is that the  _baby_?! Has it really been that long? You wonder if they'll recognise you - it has been a few months since you last spoke to either of them. The sight makes you think back to all that drama you accidentally got caught up in; the last thing you'd known was that Arthur agreed to go with Merlin to receive the paternity test, but after that you felt it was really time to go home, so you'd said goodbye to the two of them, and Gwen, and gracefully faded out of their lives. The following days you'd often found your thoughts slipping back to them, wondering whether Merlin  _is_ the father, and what that meant for him and Arthur. You'd wondered whether they'd stopped being so 'frustratingly oblivious' as Gwen had put it, and figured things out between them. Well, to be honest you still wonder about these things, but you've recently resigned yourself to the fact that you might never know. It takes you a second to realise that all the answers to the questions that you'd been pondering over for several weeks on end, are now right in front of you. _  
_

"Arthur! Hey,  _Arthur!_ Merlin!" you shout out, desperately trying to grab their attention before they walk round the corner. Merlin seems to pick up your voice and he turns, scanning the crowd - Arthur notices his movement and looks round too, then soon spots you were you stand in the middle of the street, waving madly. He looks confused for a moment, then seems to recognise you and a huge grin breaks out over his face, leaning towards Merlin and saying something - probably reminding him who you are.

You stride quickly down the pavement, swiftly closing the smallish distance between them. "Wow, Arthur! It's been a while." you smile up at him, then at Merlin, who looks pleasantly surprised, and just a tiny bit smug as he's managed to use the distraction to nick the buggy off Arthur.

"Yeah! Yeah...I suppose it has," Arthur replies, a little out of breath. He seems to remember the baby then, and gestures your gaze down towards it. "Well, as you can see - Freya had the baby! It's a boy..." he laughs, pushing the hood of the push chair back to reveal a little new born wrapped up in light blue blankets, with pudgy arms and legs, tiny little fingers that are curled up under it's round chin, and, looking closer, you spot two bleary blue eyes peeking up at you amidst the soft, creamy skin.

"He's beautiful..." you gush, and you can't stop smiling at the two of them. You don't have all your answers yet, but just knowing that the baby had arrived, and Merlin and Arthur are here,  _together_ , taking care of it...it's more than you could have hoped for. "He has your eyes, Merlin." you say gently, so proud of the two of them, that they'd somehow worked something out. Arthur chuckles softly, taking his eyes off the little boy and back onto Merlin, smiling even more than before, making his eyes crinkle round the edges.

"That's what I said." he says tenderly, still with his eyes on Merlin. " _Mer_ lin here, wanted to name him something ridiculous like- what was it, Moran..Morde-"

" _Mor_ dred." Merlin interrupts, quirking his eyebrows up at Arthur, rolling the pram backwards and forwards slightly with his long fingers wrapped tight round the handle bar. You smirk at the pair of them. "And what exactly is wrong with the name Mordred?" Merlin asks, annoyed. Arthur just bites his lip and tries not to laugh again - but his eyes give him away, lighting up and teasing.

"Just because  _you_  happen to be 'blessed'-" Arthur makes the sarcastic speech marks in the air with his fingers. "- with a medieval name, doesn't mean you should give your son one." he grins cheekily at Merlin, like he's trying to tease another retort out of him. Wait- his  _son?!_

"I hate you."

"No, you don't."

"I really do."

"So what's his name, then?!" you interject, before Merlin succeeds in burning a hole through Arthur's head with the deadly glare he's fixing on him. Your words seem to pull Arthur out of a trance, almost if he'd forgotten you're still standing there.

"Oh- oh, yeah...it's Charlie." Arthur hastily replies, casting his eyes back down to the little thing in it's cocoon of blankets. "Freya suggested it, I think it's after her great, great-grandfather or something...right, Merlin?"

"Hmm, yeah I think so."

"I'm guessing- that he turned out to be yours, Merlin?" you ask, just to confirm. Arthur seems to have taken it well - but then it's been several months since they'd first found out. Are they...together, or what?! And how's Freya? And Gwen?!

Merlin laughs, then lets go of the handle and crouches down in beside the pram, a long, pale finger coming up to stroke across Charlie's cheek.

"Yeah.." he says softly, smiling brighter as a tiny hand latches onto his own finger, clinging tightly with each little finger. "Yeah, he's mine."

You feel that familiar feeling of curiosity swelling up again, just like it had back when all of this started - and you decide you have to ask.

"So..." you start, wondering if you're about to enter a delicate topic. "Did the penny finally drop, Arthur?" you glance back at him cheekily.

"What?"

"Did you...see the light?" you try not to laugh at the sight of Arthur's bemused expression, looking ridiculous where it replaced the smug smirk that normally lived there. Out the corner of your eye you pot Merlin also stifling a laugh, attempting to hide his face in the side of the push chair.

"Wha- what light?" Arthur stutters.

"Did the fog clear from your eyes?"

"I-"

"Any mystical epiphanies in the middle of the night?"

"What-"

"Oh, for god's sake - did you get together or not?" you sigh, quitting teasing Arthur - who looks like he's about to explode, but he relaxes considerably when your words sink in. Merlin's still laughing, and he stands back up to lace his long fingers through Arthur's own, squeezing gently.

"Yeah - the prat's been putting up with me for the past few months now." Merlin smiles, clearly still trying not to laugh at the slightly startled look on Arthur's face. However, he seems to regain the use of his mouth again a few moments later.

"Two months, fifteen days-  _actually_." Arthur corrects, a familiar smirk falling back onto his face.

"Prat." Merlin retorts, but you can see the fond look settling in his blue eyes as they train in on Arthur - and you don't miss the way Merlin's thumb starts to draw little circles on the back of Arthur's hand.

"Idiot." Arthur grins back.

"Clotpole."

Arthur's smug look drops instantly, replaced with one of indignation. "You just made that up." he protests.

Merlin shrugs. "I didn't think 'pratty prat of pratliness' quite covered it. And anyway,  _prove_ that it isn't a real wor-"

Arthur swoops in then, pressing a chaste, but firm kiss to Merlin's lips, silencing him quite effectively. He pulls back, but keeps his face close to Merlin's.

"Merlin." he says quietly. "Shut up."

You can't stop beaming at the pair of them, seeing them together - it finally puts your mind at rest, they'll be okay now, they're going to be just fine. More than fine, in fact. Arthur's leaning his forehead against Merlin's own now, and you hate to break the moment...but there's still a few things you want to iron out. You clear your throat quietly, and it's just enough to remind them of your presence.

"How's Freya? Did the pregnancy go okay?" you ask. You'd never actually met the girl, but heard several things about her from Gwen and the others.

"Oh, yeah, she's great!" Merlin replies cheerily. "It's good actually, Gwen and I have managed to persuade her to keep on a little of the pregnancy weight - she's always been too skinny."

Arthur scoffs at that."Yeah, like you can talk." Merlin elbows him sharply in the ribs and he winces. You just grin wider at the two of them.

"Arthur's been amazing." Merlin continues, still clutching his boyfriend's hand. "He came round every day the first week when I stayed over at Freya's - we all took turns looking after him, gave Freya a break for while...and of course the others dropped in every now and again, so yeah." he smiles, blue eyes gleaming. "We've been coping just fine."

"That's great," you smile at them, then crouch down in front of the pram to stoke a gentle finger across Charlie's tiny face. "You're extremely lucky, you know?" you say softly. "So very lucky. You get the best of both worlds, you've got the most amazing family and they all love each other very much. You're going to be brilliant, Charlie Emrys, you know that? Just brilliant."

Straightening back up, you tell Arthur and Merlin you really ought to be getting along, and you start to say goodbye to the little family - Merlin promises to send your love to Freya and Gwen, and you tell the two of them to behave and not to cause too much trouble, or any more ridiculous arguments. You say one last goodbye to little Charlie where he lays cocooned in blankets, and finally to Merlin and Arthur themselves. Yes, of course, you'll come round some time to check on them, no, oh, only if it's not any trouble...yes, you're certain they'll do fine, remember to say hi to Gwen, oh- well, goodbye, good luck!

You last saw them as they walk round the corner, sending a wave over their shoulder as Merlin pushes Charlie down the street.

Yeah. They'll do brilliantly.


End file.
